Genesis 1:25-31 reads:

God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food." And it was so. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day.

Genesis 1 is one of the most important chapters in the Bible. It tells us that humans were created by a loving God . . . to be in a relationship with Him.

In the New Testament, the Apostle John writes:

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God (1 John 4:7a)

Unfortunately, many people think that God is only interested in rules. But God is all about love and relationships.

Jesus, God the Son, reminds us of the most important "rule":

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind." This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37-39).

The Apostle John continues,

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:7b-10).

Anything that we have done that is not loving separates us from a loving God. We don't have to murder or commit armed robbery to "sin." Sin is simply breaking God's commandment to fully love Him and others.

Again, Christianity is about a relationships with God, who loves His creation.

Genesis tells us that both males and females were created in the image of God. It tells us that both men and women were given the responsibility to "rule" over His creation So both genders, male and female, are created in God's image.

Both genders are equally important in expressing God's image.

But wouldn't it have been easier to simply make one gender? There are some real advantages to sexuality.

One is genetic variety. As an illustration, let's say that God created everyone blue If a disease, we'll call "the blue plague," kills every blue person, the human race will be wiped out because we're all blue.

But what if God made people blue and yellow. Then the "blue plague" would only kill half the population. And their children would be green (combination of blue and yellow), so all the children would all survive. Sexual reproduction allows more offspring to adapt to environment.

That's one reason for sexuality: survival of the species. But Genesis 1 gives us an even better reason for two genders:

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

The Hebrew word for "man" here is actually anthropos which includes both male and female.

The New Living Translation then is more accurate when it translates that passage:

Then God said, "Let us make people in our image, to be like ourselves."

God is so wonderfully complex that he needs two genders to reflect His image. Males alone are inadequate to reflect His image. Females alone are inadequate to reflect His image Males and females are both needed to reflect the image of God.

To illustrate this, let's say that Figure 1 represents God:

But, no matter which way I look at the individaul pieces in Figure 2, it doesn't make a complete triangle. Together, however, they make a complete triangle.

That may be a new concept for a patriarchal culture, but from my perspective it seems to be biblical. (Even in the United States, there are some churches that still treat women as less than equal.) All I'm asking is that we try to separate that which is biblical from that which is cultural; our earthly customs from Kingdom commands. And that's a difficult task in any culture.

Perhaps God created us as male and female, so we don't think we're God! We're not self-sufficient. Whether we are single or married, we need interaction with the opposite gender for the following reasons . . .

1. We need the opposite sex for mental growth.

We've already figured our men and women think differently! Research on stroke victims has revealed that men's and women's brains are physically different. Here's how it works.

If we were to look at embryo at the twelfth week of life, we should see a distinct human being; the unborn baby would even have fingernails. And, on closer inspection, we would say, "Look it's a girl!" But it could very well be a boy!

The gender of a fetus is determined at the split second of conception: an "X" sperm outraces a "Y" sperm to the egg and we have a female; a "Y" sperm beats the others to the egg and we have a male.

But the fetus will look female until the chromosomes-the genetic blueprint- calls for male hormones to be produced. The androgen will slowly transform that fetus into a perfectly formed- and anatomically correct--male.

But that's not all.

In the sixteenth week, another dose of androgen begins to transform the "XY" fetus' brain from female to male. Many of the nerve connections between the two sides dissolve. And the sides, or hemispheres, of the male brain begin to take on different tasks.

But women can use both sides of their brain at the same time. Females can also store information in both sides of their brain. They "backup" all their information.

We men can't. That's why a stroke is usually more damaging to a man. A certain "disk sector" of his brain has been wiped out, and he has no backup disk.

For instance, have you ever heard this conversation?

Male: "Tell me how you came to that conclusion?"

Female: "I don't know. I just knew it."

Male: "Come on. You just can't have answers pop into your head. How did you figure that out."

Female: "Well, I just knew it."

The woman may not be able to logically, step by step explain the thinking which instantly gave her the correct answer. Her brain simply has better wiring with information firing back and forth between the hemispheres!

However, men, there are some advantages to only using half a brain at one time. Boys seem to better in logical problem solving and higher math in school. Because girls have more nerve connections between the halves of their brains, they can handle both visual and verbal information at the same time. Thus, they often talk earlier than boys and generally do better in languages

So, males and females are not only born physically different, but mentally as well.

Sexual differences allow us to look at our world from different viewpoints and to learn from the other gender's perspective.

2. We need the opposite sex for social growth.

An ancient myth says that originally, there was only one gender. But the gods became angry with the whole human race.

"What's the worst punishment we can inflict on these creatures?

"Let's cut each human in two, shuffle them up, and deal them out across the face of the earth. Then, we'll sit back and watch these frustrated creatures try to find their other half!"

The Latin word "sexus" means to split.

God tells us in Genesis, "It is not good for people to be alone" We need relationships with the opposite gender. The feelings of love is that sense that we've found our other half. And, again, a symbol of the relationship God wants to have with us

This would be a good time to talk about love.

In English, we have basically one word for love. So, I say,

"I love pepperoni pizza."

"I love my brother."

"I love my best friend."

"I love my wife."

I obviously, don't love Lois the same way I love pepperoni pizza. And I don't love my kids the same way I love my wife.

The Greeks were smart enough to have four--separate words for love.

Eros, was used to refer to sensual or sexual love. The word is not specifically used in Scripture, but the Song of Solomon is certainly a celebration of eros. And it is not "lust" (that's epithemia in Greek)

I eros pepperoni pizza because it makes my taste buds feel good. I eros the sensation of sea breeze in my face I eros the warmth and softness of my ragged Indiana Wesleyan University sweat shirt.

There can be holy, sexual love. (We'll talk more about that later.)

Phileo and storge describe friendship love and love for one's family. I storge my Mother and Father I storge my younger brother. I phileo my old college roommate. I phileo the people of southern Africa.

Agape love is a willful, deliberate, I-choose-to-love-you love. This love is not based on emotional feelings or even on a relationship; it's unconditional. It is the word used in the Apostle Paul's classic definition of agape.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

With four words for love, things were less confusing in ancient Greece. When Marcus leaned over in the chariot and whispered, "I love you," Daphne knew exactly what he had on his mind by the word he chose.

Marcus could have said, "I eros you," which meant he had only a physical attraction.

"I phileo you," which meant, "Let's be good friends."

"I storge you" ("I love you like a sister").

"I agape you," which would have meant, "I've thought this through and have decided that I am going to love you unconditionally no matter what comes our way."

Think of marriage relationship as a three-sided triangle

In the United States, many couples emphasize the eros side of the three-sided "love triangle." Dr. Frederick Meeker believes the "half-life" of romantic love is about three months. I didn't do that well in chemistry, so had to look up "half-life." It means if eros has an intensity of "10," it will degenerate to half or a "5" in just three months. In another three months, eros will have eroded to a "2.5"

That's why, in North America, most relationships last about six months.

Without adequate amounts of phileo and agape, the one-legged triangle comes crashing down.

Lasting love, then, is a healthy blend of eros (physical attraction), phileo (friendship), and agape (commitment).

The stability of a relationship often depends from which side we enter the relationship.

In Western cultures, most couples approach relationships with their hormones (eros). In the rush of emotions, they're often blinded to the serious--and sometimes dangerous--flaws in a partner. That's why sometime around six months, they start to wonder, "Why am I dating this person?! What was I thinking?!"

Relationships entered in to from the eros entrance, very quickly end.

Another approach to the love triangle is with our hearts (phileo). Few people in the United States want to hear their hopeful partner say, "Let's just be friends," but this entrance does offer hope for a lasting relationship. Being "just friends" takes the pressure--and the masks--off a relationship. You see the person clearly, rationally with all his or her strengths, weaknesses, emotional ups and downs, endearing and annoying habits, positive and negative interactions with other people in a variety of settings.

And if you decide, this is a person you'd like to spend a lot more time with, eros has a chance to develop along with the commitment of agape.

In arranged marriages, couples enter from the agape (commitment) side. And arranged marriages have some real advantages. One arranged couple made this point.

"You Westerners bring the pot to a boil, get married, and then take it off the stove. In Eastern cultures, we get married and put the pot on to boil. It starts slow, but we keep it on the stove."

Relationships entered into from the eros side face many more challenges than those approached from the phileo and agape sides. Ideally, marriage is an equilateral triangle--all sides are equal.

But after observing thousands of couples, Dr. John Money believes eros love begins to fade after two to three years. Marriages, however, that are built on phileo and agape love, can continue to mature and develop- even if slightly out of shape--geometrically and physically.

This idea of entering the triangle from different sides also applies to our relationship with God.

Instead of triangles, Jesus talks of a field, sown with seed:

"Now here is the explanation of the story I told about the farmer sowing grain: The seed that fell on the hard path represents those who hear the Good News about the Kingdom and don't understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches the seed away from their hearts. The rocky soil represents those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But like young plants in such soil, their roots don't go very deep. At first they get along fine, but they wilt as soon as they have problems or are persecuted because they believe the word. The thorny ground represents those who hear and accept the Good News, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares of this life and the lure of wealth, so no crop is produced. The good soil represents the hearts of those who truly accept God's message and produce a huge harvest - thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted" (Matthew 13:18-23).

Some people approach faith in Christ from the eros side. The time of singing and worship makes them "feel" good Having our sins forgiven and our guilty consciences cleansed provides a "feeling" of relief. But because feelings don't go down deep, ". . . they wilt as soon as they have problems or are persecuted because they believe the word."

Persecution doesn't "feel good"!

Some approach a relationship with Christ through the phileo side of the triangle. They enjoy the fellowship. They enjoy the care and compassion they feel from other Christians But because their relationship to Christ is based on relationships with others, ". . . all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares of this life and the lure of wealth, so no crop is produced."

Their schedule gets busy and they don't have time for church relationships.

Finally, those who grow and mature in Christ need a strong agape' love for God.

Remember when Peter denied Jesus-three times? When he met the resurrected Christ, what did Jesus ask?

"Peter, do you agape me?"

Jesus is asking, do you have an unconditional love for me?

Peter replied, "Yes, Lord, you know I phileo you."

If our love for Jesus is not unconditional, If it is based on good feelings when we're around other Christians, if it is based on friendships with other Christians, we will be like the seeds falling on the path, in the stones, and in the thorns. Our spiritual life will wither and die.

And if our human relationships are not based on agape, those relationships will eventually wither and die.

Do you see how human love is an "image" of God's love? How our relationship with others is an "image" of our relationship with God?

That brings me to the third reason God created two genders . . .

3. We need the opposite sex for spiritual growth.

Perhaps the reason God appears contradictory at times, is that He is too large to see all at once.

Some may sense expressions of His more feminine side: He speaks of himself as a "mother hen gathering her chicks." He refers to himself as "El Shaddai" which is translated "the one with nourishes" but the Hebrew root word can also be translated "the breast"!

At other times, we see a more masculine side complete with lightning bolts, plagues, and fire from heaven.

Jesus-the very image of God-displayed both sides: In one chapter he's whipping the money changers, In another weeping with Mary and Martha, In Matthew children are crowding around Him and climbing up on his lap. In Revelation unbelievers cower in terror!

Did God give us the wonderfully complex opposite sex to help us understand his wonderfully complex personality? I'll never fully understand God--or Lois--but I love them both dearly. And both have enriched my life in a way that couldn't have occurred on my own.

Finally, throughout both the Old and New Testaments, God uses sexuality as a symbol for the spiritual closeness he wants to have with His creation. What was the Hebrew male's symbol of commitment to his God? Circumcision!

For Christians, St. Paul claims sexual intercourse is an "illustration" of spiritual intimacy with Christ.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:31-32).

Sexuality, then reminds me that I'm incomplete-physically, mentally (no doubt there!), and spiritually. It forces me from being a self-centered and self-sufficient to realizing that I am in need others. And, remarkably, that others need me to be a complete person.

Notice in Genesis that God creates light and darkness, dry land and oceans, land animals and sea creatures, plants and birds, and each time He said, "That's good."

But it's not until He creates humans-male and female--that He declares creation "very good." (In fact, He take a day off just to admire His handiwork.) Sexuality (including intercourse) is "very" good

And, perhaps, that is why Satan works so hard to degrade and pervert sex. Sexuality reflects the image of God, because intercourse is a symbol of intimacy with God.

Click here to go to On human sexuality: part 2

© 2001 James Watkins



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