April 2006
Just as there are certain standards for truth in advertising, I’m proposing federal legislation for truth in love
songs. Most songs, so sweet they can cause cavities—and a delusional view of love—need some serious rewriting.
Here are some suggestions.
The Rose—and Thorns
Some say love it is a feeling,
that makes the heart rate rise,
Some say love it is a hormone,
that makes our race survive.
I say love it is a diaper
that's changed at three A.M.
It's attendance at recitals, and games
that never end.
I say love is buying Playtex
products for mate,
I say love it does for others,
the things you truly hate.
We’ve Only Just Begun—to Pay
We've only just begun to pay,
Fuel bills and mortgages,
A loan for wheels and we’re on our way.
And yes, we’ve just begun
Before our first-born child we pay
Premiums and doctor bills
A MasterCard and we’re on our way,
And yes, we’ve just begun
Sharing expenses that are new to us,
Watching the bills come due each day,
Talking it over with our creditors,
Working twelve hours every day
Together. Together.
We’ve only just begun.
Breathe—and Snore
I can hear you snore
A slow and steady roar
And suddenly my elbow’s in your side
There’s nothing left to try
Baby, all I need is just to sleep
Caught up in the noise
That certainly annoys
Baby, this is not the night I married for,
I can hear you snore
Here’s my theory. Perhaps if love-struck couples had a more realistic view of love
and the commitment that goes with
it, they’d be fewer breakups and divorces. So, here’s what I wrote for Lois to come down the aisle to over
30 years ago.
Lois
If I could write the love inside,
Pen the feelings that abide,
I'd send a letter, address it to you.
If I could draw the love I feel,
Sketch the love I know is real,
I'd paint that picture, I'd frame it for you.
And yet I never seem to find,
The way to say, "I'm glad you're mine."
To say how much I love you.
If I could write a song or two,
Find a rhyme for "I love you."
I'd write that song, I'd sing it for you.
But I can show you by my life,
Live these thoughts through joy and strife,
I'll try my love, I'll live them for you.
And yet I never seem to find,
The way to say, "I'm glad you're mine."
To say how much I love you.
© 1972 James N. Watkins
(Click here to hear the song.)
Perhaps songwriters could stress the strife as well as the joy of love and especially the
fulfillment of a
life-long commitment. Now if you’ll excuse, my wife is sending me to the store for feminine hygiene products.
That’s real love!
Copyright © 2006 James N. Watkins
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