After eight years of marriage, the 36-year-old man and his 30-year-old wife went to the Lübeck campus of the University Clinic of Schleswig-Holstein fertility clinic to figure out why they could not have a child.

According to ananova.com, doctors gave them a battery of tests and were baffled since both husband and wife were healthy and fertile.

"When we asked them how often they had had sex," a clinic spokesman said, "they looked blank, and said: 'What do you mean?'"

They had never had sex!

Perhaps the couple should read Three secrets for x-ceptional sex.

Super Bowl XXX that's not very adult! January/February 2004 Just two words in this award: 'mental malfunction'! To read more about it, click here

singer or stripper? that's not very adult! November/December 2003 First she was topless in Elle and Rolling Stone, then bottomless in Esquire. If I were Britney Spear's manager, I'd encourage her get "In The Zone" and concentrate more on singing than stripping.

Women can be cashing checks from record companies--and the Social Security Administration--well into their Barbara Streisand years. But, if she wants to be branded as a hot pop tart, her career will go cold very soon.

(Click here for Top Ten Ways That Britney Can Be Considered a Serious Musician.)

need a longer boat? that's not very adult! July/August 2003 Hmmm? How do I put this delicately? Okay, there are a ton of ads offering more excitement in the tunnel of love if you have a longer boat. Not so! Every medical study proves that the most exciting areas of the tunnel of love are around and just inside of the entrance. If you really want to please her, read The Guys Guide to Sex

the perfect woman? that's not very adult! May/June 2003 As if those annoying "pop-up" ads for "Hot Girls, Hot Bikinis" weren't bad enough, many of the pop-up's pics feature headless women. Apparently it's a commentary on which parts of females that some guys are only interested. hot and headless that's not very 'adult'! (For full-bodied sexuality, visit The Guy's Guide to Cars . . . and Sex)

snowwoman busted that's not very adult! March/April 2003 Kent, Ohio, police were called to the scene of "indecent exposure" on February 20 of this year. The violator-Chris Lynn's snowwoman! "[The police officer] said that I should cut off her breasts, but I said no woman wants that," Lynn said. Instead, she draped a maroon tablecloth around the snowwoman's shoulders and offending parts.

"Victoria" can reveal her "Secrets" on network TV, but you'll get busted for, and I quote, an "inappropriate snow figure." Puh-lease. That's not very 'adult'!

(The Kent Police may want to read my essay: Why are Guys Such Boobs About Breasts?)

lingerie barbie?! that's not very adult! January/February 2003 As if little girls aren't told often enough they're sex toys, Mattel has created 'Victoria's Secret" for 8-year-olds! Actually, the official press release notes they are for "adult collectors" and yet the blurb advertises, "Golden hoop earrings and high heels complete this simple but elegant ensemble, perfect for dress-and-play fun!" "Dress-and-play fun" for adult collectors? Okay, now you're really creeping me out. Let's just say, "That's not very 'adult'!"

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