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THE LATEST 'HEAVY TOPICS WITH A LIGHT TOUCH'






August 27, 2007:
blog, e-zine or whatever it is I do here . . .

• Top topic: When life gives you lemons, send 'em to another publisher
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS
• 9/11: two small numbers that forever changed our lives
9/11 TERRORIST ATTACKS
• Another addition to my 'hat tree'

• Become a father for the motherland

• Colorado Springs, Marion, Dallas, Grand Rapids, Sandy Cove

• Don't tap toe to catchy airport music
GAY SEX SIGNALS
• How to hook today's online users

• Kathy Griffin gets an 'F' on the 'D-list'

• "Make a splash" with my Pool Party Presidential campaign

• Mega-church pastors divorce over "different directions"

• On second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina . . .

• Re-doing revised redesign of web site

• Take your writing to the next level at Sandy Cove

• Talk show host calls prosperity gospel preachers "snakes"
T.D. JAKES, CLEFRO DOLLAR, JOEL OSTEEN, EDDIE LONG

With a kabillion sites you could visit, thanks for stopping by here! I hope you'll come back regularly for constantly updated humor; commentary on sex, society, the supernatural; and, of course, my plot to overthrow society as we know it. (Please save it as a "favorite," then tell a friend.)





Top topic: Monday, August 27, 2007
when life gives you lemons, send 'em to another publisher

My book proposal, When Life Gives You Lemons, Sell 'em on eBay: Squeezing Good Out of the Bad, is going to another pub board of another publisher today. This is my most personal book, so I'm really passionate about it, but so far 20-plus publishers aren't. Sigh. Thanks for praying for a positive response!
• Top ten ways to cope when life turns sour (excerpt)

5:45 PM EST
Here's the email I received just moments ago:


Folks like the material! We discussed marketing considerations in some detail, and decided we have some ideas for making that work. (We'll be picking your brain too, of course!) The team was also interested in the appendixes. They would like to see one or all of them, please, to


WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS . . .

see how you handle such difficult (and concrete) issues with humor. Assuming we like what we see of those, we'll be ready to offer you a contract!

Thanks for your prayers!



Tuesday, September 18, 2007
how to hook today's online users

An article on the BBC's Web site warns we're all "turning into digital goldfish." Internet users now have their attention span of only nine seconds. I'll be addressing this issue Thursday at:
• The Internet Ministry Conference (Grand Rapids, Michigan)
• How to hook today's online users



Monday, September 17, 2007
kathy griffin gets an 'f' on the 'd-list'

"D-list comic, Kathy Griffin, got A-list coverage when she accepted her Creative Emmy Award recently. She said—and I quote—"A lot of people get up here and thank Jesus for helping them win this award, but I have to say nobody has been less helpful in getting me to this moment than Jesus. I don't know what I ever did to him, I just think he doesn't like me that much. So I guess all I can really say is, 'Suck it, Jesus! This statue is my God now!'"

While many Christian group gave her an "F" as they denounced her comments as offensive, I'm actually glad she didn't credit Jesus with her expletive-filled humor. To me, it's even more offensive when rap and R&B artists thank Jesus as they accept awards for their hate-filled, racist and sexist lyrics. I'm also offended when athletes hoist their trophies and thank God for their victory as if God has a favorite team. So, please, don't give Jesus credit He doesn't deserve!
• Story from Christian Post



Wednesday, September 12, 2007
become a father for the motherland

According to
Reuters, the governor of Russia's Ulanovsk province urged—and I quote—"couples to skip work on Wednesday and make love instead to help boost Russia's low birth-rate." But wait, there's more: fabulous prizes! If a couple gives birth exactly nine months from today, they win a fridge, TV or even a house!

To set the mood, Russians may want to visit:
• My adultsite4adults.com
• Three secrets to x-ceptional sex

Or better yet, reduce the number of abortions (Russia has one of the highest rates with 60 percent of pregnancies terminated)
• Is it a life or a choice?



Thursday, September 6, 2007
another addition to my 'hat tree'

Starting Monday, I'll be working part-time at my home church as "minister of media," "communications director," or whatever. (They haven't finalized the title. I'm holding out for "King of All Media," but I think someone else claims that title.) It will be a joy to put my talents in communications to work and to serve with a great staff. And, at only two days a week, it will provide a cushion for the "feast or famine" pendulum of freelancing, but also give me real freedom to pursue my writing, editing and speaking. I'm excited!
• College Wesleyan Church
Communicate to Change Lives
• The other hats on my rack



Later Thursday
9/11: two small numbers that forever changed our lives

Two small numbers, 9/11, have become shorthand for an infinite number of emotions: the shock and disbelief of watching the terrorist attack on live TV, the horror of watching the twin towers collapse upon themselves, the national grief as the number of confirmed casualties grew to over 2,800, the growing realization that we are no longer beyond the reach of terrorist attacks, and perhaps most of all, the realization that our lives have been forever changed.

Here are some thoughts on the attacks over the past six years:
• What we learned from 9/11? (2001)
• What we haven't learned from 9/11? (2002)
• Kiss my boarding pass, bin Laden! (2003)
• Resources for dealing with terrorism (2004)
• Can "war on terrorism" be won? (2005)
• On the fifth anniversary (2006)
• Is new attack "imminent"? (2007)


'CROSS' DISCOVERED IN WORLD TRADE CENTER RUBBLE

"Cross" discovered in World Trade Center rubble, September 2001



Monday, September 2, 2007
colorado springs, marion, dallas, grand rapids, sandy cove

What was I thinking when I said yes to speaking at twenty conferences in 2007?! This will not look good for my sanity hearing. This month I'll be speaking at four conferences, as well as teaching a three-part series at College Wesleyan Church. Yes, that is crazy, but if you're in the area, I'd love to meet you. And in the meantime, thanks for praying for my sanity!
• September 7: American Christian Writers in Colorado Springs
• September 9, 16, 23: College Wesleyan Church in Marion, Indiana
• September 14-15: Texas Christian Writers in Dallas
• September 19-22: Internet Ministry Conference in Grand Rapids, Michaigan
• September 30-October 4: Sandy Cove Writers Conference in North East, Maryland



Saturday, September 1, 2007
re-doing revised redesign of web site

I think of my Web site design as I did my model railroad as a kid. I was always re-routing it, adding a tunnel, putting in a new siding and spending my Christmas and birthday money for rolling stock. "Playing" with my site is a similar hobby, but virtually no expense. (By the mid 70s, I had been priced out of model railroading.) So, here's my new "layout." I hope you like it. And if you don't, no worries. I'll probably be redesigning it again, soon.
• Some thoughts on Web site design



Friday, August 31, 2007
don't tap toe to catchy airport music

The current scandal of Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig, caught in a gay sex sting in the Minneapolis Airport, prompts many questions. Most important of all, "Am I accidentally soliciting for gay sex by tapping my toe to that catchy airport music?" Apparently that's the universal signal. And explains why, when I was impatiently tapping my foot at slow service at a truck stop, I was approached by a very strange man with a very strange request. So, I'm wondering, what other kinds of activities am I inadvertently soliciting?!

According to Wikipedia, I need to avoid wearing anything with pink triangles, black triangles, rainbows, rhinos or the Greek letter L, pinky rings, or blue star tatoos. Check, check, check, check, check, check, and check. Whew! I'm safe!

• Some thoughts on mixed sexual signals
• Some thoughts on dealing with scandals
• Some thoughts on reporting sex scandals
• Some thoughts on Wikipedia





Thursday, August 30, 2007
take your writing to the next level at sandy cove

I'll be directing the Sandy Cove Writers' Conference September 30-October 3 on the shore of the beautiful Chesapeake Bay. (If you can't write sitting on the dock watching the sun go down, trade in your laptop for a fishing boat!) I'll also be teaching some classes, as well as a separate, full-day seminar, Thursday, October 4, on Communicate to Change Lives. Please join me on the dock for a great writers' conference and seminar!
• Conference details
• "Taking the Word to the World" seminar
• "Self-publishing Is Not for 'Losers'" seminar
• Full-day "Communicate to Change Lives" seminar details; registration details
• Writing resources



Wednesday, August 29, 2007
talk show host calls prosperity gospel preachers 'snakes'

Christian talk-show host Reuben Armstrong has Christians—and non-Christians— talking with his new self-published book
Snakes in the Pulpit. Not only does Armstrong attack the so-called "prosperity preachers" who "use the Word of God for fame and fortune," but calls for four of the proponents to immediately resign: Clefro Dollar, T. D. Jakes, Eddie Long and Joel Osteen.

Some random thoughts:

1. I agree that prosperity preaching is unbiblical and deserves to be challenged (see previous posts).

2. The apostles Paul and John were not afraid to name names in their challenges of unbiblical preaching.

3. And Paul encouraged Timothy to confront first century prosperity preachers:

"If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He [has] been robbed of the truth and [thinks] that godliness is a means to financial gain. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction (1 Timothy 6:3-9).

4. However, the apparent tone (calling these preachers "snakes"), does seem a bit venomous and not in keeping with Paul’s admonition in confronting sin:

"Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself" (Galatians 6:1, emphasis mine).

5. Will this book cause more harm than good? Already the blogsphere is slithering with comments such as:

"Preachers are nothing but self-aggrandizing charlatans and pimps." [Hooper]

"i don't trust NO ONE with the salvation of my spirit but me: not Jesus and FO SHO NOT one of these fake pastors, of which 95% of these pastors are." [PrivateEyes]

"why isn't he giving the book for free... i believe dude is about money too." [SleepyAngel30]

6. Like SleepyAngel30, I wonder if Armstrong is attempting to gain his own “fame and fortune” with this book. And if he does, will he "fall into the same temptation" to live the lifestyle of the ones he confronts?

Hmmm? What do you think?
• Post your thoughts at ThinkChristian.net



Tuesday, August 28, 2007
on second anniversary of hurricane katrina . . .

Two years ago today, hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans and the Gulf coast. It proved to be the deadliest and costliest hurricane to strike the United States, killing 1,836 people and causing over 80 billion dollars in damages.
• Some thoughts from two years ago



Later Monday
mega-church pastors divorce over 'different directions'

Randy and Paula White announced at last Thursday’s service that they are splitting up. The co-pastors of the 23,000-member Without Walls church in Tampa, both blamed the "two different directions" their lives are going. They had been married 18 years, both having been divorced and remarried before.

Former staff member Larry DeLaRosa left the church, along with others, when the couple’s theology "stopped lining up biblically." Church board member Alick Clarke told Tampa Bay Online, he "partially blamed the couple's breakup on their devotion to preaching a prosperity message."

It is always a tragedy when a marriage breaks up, but even more so when the couple are preachers of God’s Word. And when the reason is so unbiblical, it is exponentially tragic. One of the poison fruits of the prosperity gospel is the implication that one is entitled to a happy, joyous life. This may partially explain—just a personal theory—why those in independent churches, such as Without Walls, divorce at a higher rate than the secular population. They’re not happy!

A biblical message of a life-long commitment to one’s partner, the mutual submission of being "one" in living out that commitment, and the concept of "iron sharpening iron"—with sparks flying—creates holy people rather than necessarily happy people. I do pray that God speaks to the White’s about the importance of these biblical truths and that the two reconcile and remain married. Now that would be prosperous!

• Story from Tampa Bay Online
• Top ten reasons I'm not divorcing my wife
• Top ten secrets to remaining married 30 years
• Why the prosperity gospel is not biblical



Thursday, August 16, 2007
last issue's 'heavy topics with a light touch'

A newsworthy week: I announced my dive into the political waters with my Pool Party campaign for president; The Weekly World News, "The World's Only Reliable Newspaper," announced it was being abducted; Billy Graham was hospitalized and honored, Mother Teresa's new book created controversy; plus, I revealed my list of "Top Ten Lamest Hurricane Names" and ate a whole can of French's onion rings.
• Click here to go back in time



Wednesday, August 1, 2007
august's top ten sites

August's ranking (July's ranking)

   1. Home page / blog (1)

   2. Top ten reasons I'm not divorcing my wife (5)

   3. Quips and quotes of encouragement (3)

   4. I just want to die (suicide) (4)

   5. "Jim Shorts" on sex (6)

   6. Articles, books, comedy/drama, humor . . . (—)

   7. Women in ministry issues (2)

   8. "Jim Shorts" on spirituality (—)

   9. Latest and last "Jim Shorts" (—)

  10. Masturbation: the hidden habit (7)




But wait, there's more . . .
code, copyrights, comments . . .

We subscribe to proposed 'blogger's code of conduct' I'm glad to see the online community developing a set of guidelines to bring civility and credibility to the blogsphere. I've adapted the proposed policy (printed in red) to create my own code of conduct.


1. Responsibility for our own words First, I believe that, as a follower of Christ, I am responsible to "speak the truth in love" and to "let all [my] conversation be full of grace." Jesus never backed away from controversial subjects, but He was "full of truth and grace." Second, I believe plagiarism is stealing and thus a violation of the eighth commandment. All material on my site is original with me unless credited to someone else. And third, as a journalist, I must be objective, accurate (I will verify all facts with at least two reliable sources) and fair (I will quote people in context and strive to present their position accurately).

2. Nothing we wouldn't say in person We must be as responsible and civil we are in the real world. I believe that personal attacks, name-calling, profane or vulgar language, and racist, sexist and ethnic humor have no place in the real or virtual worlds.

3. Encouragement of responses (That's currently not in the code, but it should be!) I include guest's comments at the end of articles and columns as well as encouraging comments on my host's online discussion board.

4. No anonymous comments Commenters must supply a valid email address before they can post, though I allow commenters to identify themselves with an alias, rather than their real name for sensitive issues.

5. Discretion to delete comments I refuse to post comments that do not conform to my own code in point 2.

6. Vigorous enforcement of blog hosts' terms of service

7. Nothing harmful We will not engage in any activity that would cause physical, mental, social or spiritual harm or encourage anyone to do the same.

I'll probably be tweaking this as I go along, but for now, those are the promises I'm making to you as a guest on my site.

Blogger's Code of Conduct [off site]
Legal Guide for Bloggers (also very good!) [off site]
Some thoughts on blogging and responsibility



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