October 1998
It's illegal to hitch a crocodile to a fire hydrant in Michigan. Yep, that's one of the More Crazy Laws in Dick Hyman's book by the same name.
Other actual laws include making it unlawful for elephants to drink beer in Natchez, Mississippi. (Apparently it was viewed as necessary legislation following the drunken display by those pickled pachyderms in "Dumbo.")
Painting horses is illegal in Vermont.
Fishing from the back of any animal is strictly forbidden in Idaho.
In Kentucky, burglaries can only be committed at night.
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn—nor are humans in Detroit. And you'll spend time in the cooler if you're caught sleeping in a refrigerator in Pittsburgh.
And in New Jersey, where politicians obviously have way too much time on their hands, it's illegal to slurp soup, make dogs cry, raise chickens in bottles, or allow dogs to bark, chickens to crow and ducks to quack between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.
Some laws are simply outdated or outrageous. But some are down right dangerous.
The recent killing spree by self-confessed white supremacist, Benjamin Smith, has prompted the State of Indiana to consider enacting "hate crime" legislation. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe first-degree murder is already considered a crime in all fifty states and warrants the death penalty in the Hoosier state. It seems to me that having one's body pumped full of lethal drugs is punishment enough! (Will being convicted of a hate crime double the dosage?!)
But hate crime legislation has little to do with law and justice. It's an attempt by political action groups to squelch the First Amendment rights of anyone who dares oppose that particular group's beliefs.
Our country was built on the premise that every citizen with a soap box—or a computer—has an inalienable right to express his or her opinions freely. And so, conspiracy theorists, right- and left-wing radicals, racists of all colors, aliens, reincarnated cave men, multi-level marketers of snake oil and even humor columnists are allowed to share their view in the media, Internet sites and local watering holes. And equally important [cue the "Star Spangled Banner"] Americans have the right to accept or to peacefully challenge those opinions.
Hate laws attempt to criminalize thought! Yes, punish to the full extent of law white supremacists—or any other group of sociopaths—who kill their alleged "enemies." But don't punish them for their motives—no matter how much you and I may disagree with them. (And I DO disagree with them!)
Some day our ideas and beliefs may be targeted and then criminalized by lawmakers who have buckled under the pressure of some powerful political action group.
Think about it. Speak out about it.
And don't carry a ukulele on the street in Salt Lake City, Utah!
Copyright © 1998 James N. Watkins
Tell a friend
If this page was helpful, please tell a friend
Legal stuff and warnings
© James Watkins All text and graphics on my sites, unless otherwise noted, are copyrighted © in my name,
James N. Watkins, and are protected by United States copyright law and international copyright law under the Berne
Convention. Please visit the press room for information on reprinting any text or
graphics. Thanks!
WARNING:Reader assumes full responsibility for the proper and prescribed use of this
site. For external use only. Discontinue if rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops. If swallowed, do not
induce vomiting. Side-effects may include drowsiness or mild to severe agitation. Do not read while operating
heavy machinery. Keep away from open flame. Do not store above 451 degrees. Do not use near or place in water.
Views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of
GospelCom.net or any other person using the name James
Watkins, or any other person real or fictitious, living or dead. Void where prohibited, taxed or licensed.
This site is brought to you by . . .
and hosted by . . .
